Mad Marchness 2007, Part 1

March 13, 2007 at 3:49 am (Uncategorized)

Hey Everyone….how’s it going. Good? Glad to hear it. Have you ever wondered what would happen if instead of basketball games being played in the NCAA Basketball tournaments, the mascots simply battled to the death? Well I have. Forget the brackets you’ve figured out; your whole bracket world is about to be thrown upside down

Without further ado,

THE BATTLE OF THE COLLEGE BASKETBALL MASCOTS….WHO WILL BE VICTORIOUS??

Before I do anything, I have to give a shout out to my Main Man Kevin Canavan, who has already seen this plan in motion (back in the fall, with NFL football teams. No one but his dad was there to witness it; until the time comes around again, I won’t reveal who won). While watching b-ball with him yesterday, he brought it up. And a lightbulb went on in my head. Ahoy! So Kev….thanks for the inspiration, dawg.

Let’s get to the rules of play:

1) The mascots are not playing each other in basketball….that would just be ludicrous. They are fighting…TO THE DEATH!!!

2) A basketball team sends five guys to the court…for the time being, we’ll say that five of each mascot will be sent to face another five, although it may get complicated, and I think the rules will need to be tweaked. (I think the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets will cause the most problems here).

3) Basketball is played on hardwood floors. For the sake of the mascots, who usually don’t do battle on hardwood, we’ll move them to a neutral, outdoor setting.

4) Since I am the Commish of this league…the final rules involving discrepencies comes down to me, and me only. I will be fair and just.

Now….the Matchups.

Play in game:

The Florida A&M Rattlers vs. The Niagra Purple Eagles

Round 1, The Midwest:

The Florida Gators vs. The Jackson State Tigers

The Arizona Wildcats vs. The Purdue Boilermakers

The Butler Bulldogs vs. The Old Dominion Monarchs

The Maryland Terrapins vs. The Davidson Wildcats

The Notre Dame Fighting Irish vs. The Winthrop Eagles

The Oregon Ducks vs. The Miami of Ohio Redhawks

The UNLV Rebels vs. The Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets

The Wisconsin Badgers vs. The Texas A&M Corpus Christi Islanders

The West:

The Kansas Jayhawks vs. The Florida A&M Rattlers or The Niagra Purple Eagles

The Kentucky Wildcats vs. The Villanova Wildcats

The Virginia Tech Hokies vs. The Illinios Fighting Illini

The Southern Illinois Salukies vs. The Holy Cross Crusaders

The Duke Blue Devils vs. The Virginia Commonwealth Rams

The Pittsburgh Panthers vs. The Wright State Raiders

The Indiana Hoosiers vs. The Gonzaga Bulldogs

The UCLA Bruins vs. The Weber State Wildcats

The East:

The North Carolina Tarheels vs. The Eastern Kentucky Colonels

The Marquette Golden Eagles vs. The Michigan State Spartans

The USC Trojans vs. The Arkansas Razorbacks

The Texas Longhorns vs. The New Mexico State Aggies

The Vanderbilt Commodores vs. The George Washington Colonials

The Washington State Cougars vs. The Oral Roberts Golden Eagles

The Boston College Eagles vs. The Texas Tech Red Raiders

The Georgetown Hoyas vs. The Belmont Bruins

The South:

The Ohio State Buckeyes vs. The Central Conneticutt State Blue Devils

The BYU Cougars vs. The Xavier Musketeers

The Tennessee Vols vs. The Long Beach State 49ers

The Virginia Cavaliers vs. The Albany Great Danes

The Louisville Cardinals vs. The Stanford Cardinal

The Texas A&M Aggies vs. The Penn Quakers

The Nevada Wolf Pack vs. The Creighton Bluejays

The Memphis Tigers vs. The North Texas Mean Green

Phew….that took awhile.

Okay….

There is no possible way I’m going to be able to go over every match up in the First Round tonight, let alone the whole tournament. This might be a mulitple entry procedure. But I’ll see what I can get done tonight, starting with the West Bracket, which has the play-game. So before the tourney starts, lets go over the play-in game.

The Florida A&M Rattlers vs. The Niagra Purple Eagles:

Rattlers, for the most part, are a pretty formidable foe. They’re poisonous, aggressive, and sneaky. In a neutral outdoor setting, with five rattlers slithering around, I think any opponent would be intimidated.

Ofcourse, we’re not dealing with any opponent here: we’re dealing with Purple Eagles. Purple Eagles?!?! I mean, I’ve heard of some crazy shit, but I think Purple Eagles take the cake. Are these special eagles? Are they magical? As far as I know, there are no purple eagles in the wild. So what kind of eagles, are purple eagles, exactly?

Here’s what I say: they’re majestic and fierce….but not magical. Sorry, there’s no mention of magic here. But they are purple, don’t forget. All of this being said…I think the Purple Eagles take the Rattlers down. The Rattlers are at a distinct disadvantage, because the Purple Eagles can swoop from above and take out the Rattlers, one at a time. Don’t get me wrong…I think a Purple Eagle could get bitten in the melee. I just don’t see them losing.

Victor: The Niagra Purple Eagles

Round 1, The West:

The Purple Eagles get no rest…they immediately have to take on the Kansas Jayhawks. Which, honestly, doesn’t seem like as formidable a task. I mean…Jayhawks sound tough and everything, but against Purple Eagles…I don’t know. Let’s not forget….these are Purple Eagles that just defeated a bunch of nasty Rattlers. I think the Jayhawks would certainly be tough, especially off some rest…but I just think the Purple Eagles prevail here. I don’t know…just a gut feeling.

The Victor: The Purple Eagles

Okay folks…thats all I can do right now. Sorry…gotta get some shut eye. But I will be back to finish this epic tournament.

Until Next Time,

Greg

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